Category Archives: Music

Christmas Music that Doesn’t Suck

Here’s the deal. I fucking hate Christmas music. Working retail and hearing it blasted against my ear drums doesn’t help, but it is for a lack of a better (or less unintentionally ironic word) too shmaltzy. Whenever I hear Christmas music, it’s so over the top, that its only effect is simply causing me to feel the exact opposite of any way it was intended.

“Here comes Santa Claus… right down Santa Claus lane”? Seriously. You couldn’t make up a better lyric than using the mythical bastard’s name a third damn time?

And any carol that references Jesus and the nativity just makes me feel like a terrible person, listening to Christmas music but doubting that two thousand years ago, a man was born two thousand years ago in the Middle East was crucified in order to die for my sins. All I wanted to do was buy some nice things for the people I care about, and you want to make this a time for me to feel guilty?

Jingle Bell Rock? Rock’s been dead for at least 5 years, and never, ever would it have ever combined with jingle bells to make a song like that.

That song Wham did? Fuck you.

But, I actually enjoy a couple of songs.

I’ve never had chestnuts roasted on an open fire. But the way Nat King Cole sings about them, I want them. Like they’re delicious and somehow soulful.

This is another song that I’ve always loved, but then again, maybe it’s just the fact that I’m a miserable bastard this time of year if I’m not careful, like Charlie Brown and relate to the depressed giant-headed cartoon.

See the thing is, a lot of this music has its roots in an earlier time when instead of passively listening to music on a radio, if you wanted a tune, you had to actually play/sing it yourself. Carols were something that people sang together. And they got hammered while they did it and called it wassailing. In lieu of this companionship, they tried to overproduce songs, and in faking the funk, killed the joy of the season.

Which is why the last song is so beautiful and strikes a chord with me. It’s real people in a real situation, and though they’re all trained singers, it seems so natural you can’t help but me moved… enjoy:

Merry Christmas.

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Madvillain (MF Doom)-All caps

There’s so much win in this video, it’s hard to believe.  Number one, Doom tears up the mic, like he does always.  As if that wasn’t enough, there’s a sick beat for him to rap on.

My favorite part?  The video.  It’s  fucking creative, and it makes me sad that MTV doesn’t show videos anymore.  My one solace?  By not showing videos, Doom can never jump the shark.  At any rate, this is an awesome music video.

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Japanese people are insane

I have no idea how to explain what the fuck is going on here.  There’s an Asian chick… and ducks, and a shark, and some kind of racist imagery dancing in the background…

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Plaid-Itsu

This is one of my favorite videos of all time.  It celebrates two of my favorite things in life: pork and the homicidal intentions I have toward my coworkers/desires for power.

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Comedy Factory at Tiki

The comedy factory, a show of changing locations and players run by my good friend Tim Loulies was at Tiki Island Bar in Virginia Beach last night. I was asked to feature there, as I’d done a couple of times before. The headliner that night was Adam Dodd. The audience, comprised mostly of Northern Virginia tourists, was fantastic, and Mr. Dodd was even better. Typically, when I find out a comedian is a guitar act, there’s usually an instant decrescendo in my enthusiasm for what I’m about to see. When Mr. Dodd got on stage though, I was seriously surprised at how funny Adam was. Yes, there was some song parodies based on popular songs, but there were far more funny originals and things done as a guitar act I’d not seen before. If you have a chance to catch him, do so.

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This is just awesome. Dabrye and MF Doom: Air (remix)

Seriously… this is just awesome.

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And now, a blog referencing a blog, referencing a vlog

Aforementioned friend of Brendan Kennedy’s blog, the lab, again posted a link today, featuring Narduar interviewing NERD/Pharrel. What makes this video so impressive is that he knows so much about Pharrel and where he’s from and what he’s into, that the rapper/producer is left speechless. Video after the jump.

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Dubstep

I only recently learned about this style of music, and I’m learning more about it all the time. For those of you who don’t really know dubstep so much, you know how back in the day, there was this realization that drum and bass seemed to have the same premise as hiphop but nowhere in between did the two meet? Dubstep is the child of that musical sex session. Imagine an entire genre based on some dude saying “this synthesizer sounds cool… check out this bass line.”

I can’t listen to dubstep all day, but it’s fun for a half hour. Once they figured out how to make the bass synthesizers sound so cool, I think the bulk of the art form comes down to what you do in between the bass breaks.

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